


The Forsaken Ellipsis

by Snappy_Snippets



Series: The Language of Occlumency [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Hogwarts Era, Legilimency, M/M, Occlumency, POV Draco Malfoy, Slash, featuring the scary possibility that Draco is turning into another Snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 09:32:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5285657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snappy_Snippets/pseuds/Snappy_Snippets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After two weeks of daily Occlumency training with Snape, Draco feels quite certain that his secrets are safe from the Dark Lord. It turns out that the real challenge will be to keep his relationship safe from himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Forsaken Ellipsis

For two weeks now, the person who had once stood in front of Snape's door for three minutes at a time before knocking had been gone. 

As Draco strode through the corridor, he could barely remember what he'd felt on that first night when he had come to Snape for help with advanced Occlumency training. Tonight, his mind was clear. He was early. He had questions to ask and answers to get.

As soon as he reached the door, he knocked once and the door swung swiftly open.

Draco marched in, closed the door and sat down in the chair. He raised his eyes at Snape, keeping his mind at the ready.

'Well, well,' Snape leaned back in his chair. 'Feeling confident tonight?'

Draco nodded once.

Snape rose and walked towards the Pensieve. A perfect opportunity.

'I have questions,' Draco stated firmly.

Snape gave him a wary look.

'I'm sure you do,' he muttered, turning towards the Pensieve and starting to extract the first memory into it.

'Wouldn't it be advisable for me to use the Pensieve like you do?'

Snape looked back at him and there was a flicker of amusement in his eyes. Then he turned back around and extracted the second memory into the stone bowl without a word.

'Do you do this before standing in front of him? Isn't it a considerable advantage?'

Draco thought he could hear a soft huff as Snape extracted the third memory. He then walked back to his chair and sank into it. 

'How many memories would you have to extract?' he asked lightly.

Draco pondered this and came to the conclusion that the process would probably take hours.

'See,' Snape's voice cut in, 'the secrets I hold from the Dark Lord are not nearly as numerous as yours.'

Draco had a brief thought about Snape's sex life and pushed it away instantly. 

'Even if so, wouldn't it be safer to leave them in a Pensieve before I leave for home?'

Snape regarded him silently for a while, then leaned forward, clasping his hands on top of the desk.

'It would, but if this were a viable solution, do you think we would be sitting here right now?' he asked patiently.

As silence stretched, Draco realised it was required of him to admit the fallacy of his own reasoning by shaking his head, so he did.

Snape nodded slowly.

'I suspect you have already felt the change your mind has been undergoing for the past few weeks,' Snape continued. 'Interfering with the structure of memories cannot happen without consequences to the mind as a whole. But while Occlumency leaves full control over the process in your hands, abandoning your memories for long periods of time may inadvertently change your very identity. We do not exist without our pasts.' He gave Draco a level look. 'Do you wish to revert to...'

'No,' Draco cut in. 'No, I _do not wish_.'

Snape nodded.

'Let us proceed, then.'

The spell was cast wordlessly again and Draco welcomed it without as much as a flinch.

All his good thoughts of Potter were stored away, forgotten, in this dark inaccessible recess of his mind where he had now grown accustomed to filing them on a daily basis. 

He felt Snape look around his mind casually and he pulled up a few random memories of classes, study sessions in the library and conversations with housemates, supplying the expected emotions, which gave the impression of being real even to himself now. Snape searched for memories of last evening and Draco vividly remembered reading a book he had received in a parcel from his father. Behind the wall, nonexistent, lay yesterday's Occlumency session, a meeting with Potter and the book, collecting dust under his bed.

Snape searched for Draco's allegiance. Draco displayed his loyalty to the Dark Lord with pride. Snape searched for information on Potter. Draco felt hatred at the thought of the enemy as he pulled up selected memories. Potter striding confidently through the castle corridors, guarded from each side by a devoted army of followers - annoyance; Potter in classes, collected, focused, casting advanced spells with ease - resentment; Potter expertly making complex potions - jealousy; answering questions without missing a beat, formulating his thoughts clearly and efficiently - anger. Potter smart, bold, fearless, powerful - loathing. He felt Snape feel around for a gap, a crack, a hint of doubt, and then withdraw as he found none.

Snape leaned back. There was a trace of a smirk on his face.

'Very skillful fabrications, Draco. Are you hoping to _scare_ the Dark Lord away from him?'

'I am hoping to avoid being used as a tool against him.'

'By downplaying your own ability and exaggerating Potter's?'

'Do you have a better idea?' Draco asked calmly.

This time, Snape's mouth really did twitch into a small sad smile.

'You are going to do well protecting your secret, Draco...' he said.

Draco waited for the second part of the sentence which evidently hung in the air.

'But take care not to become the victim of your own manipulations.'

Draco had expected a 'but', only not exactly one of this kind. He kept his features perfectly still as he frowned inwardly, partly expecting Snape to issue a full-on assault right now. He had everything under control, didn't he? In fact, he had never felt more in control of his life than he did now. He knew what had to be done and had the skills to do it. Protect Potter. Protect his parents. Protect Snape. Protect himself.

The attack Draco expected didn't come. Snape heaved himself out of the chair, walked over to the Pensieve and collected the three memories, pulling them back into his mind. Draco still felt deeply curious about the silvery strands stretching from the end of the wand.

'You understand, Draco,' Snape spoke quietly, 'that when you go home for the holiday break you will have to constantly keep your mind at the ready. Even at times when the Dark Lord is not near, in front of your parents, in front of anyone else whose attention may thwart your plans...'

Draco thought of Bellatrix and immediately pushed the disgust he felt behind the wall, formulating a feeling of awe instead.

'For nearly two weeks, you are going to have to be someone else,' Snape turned towards him and his eyes were serious as he looked directly at Draco. 'And I am now quite certain you will succeed. The experience is bound to be formative, however. The memories, thoughts and emotions you store behind the wall...' Snape's gaze travelled aimlessly over Draco's head, 'it is possible they will fade as days lived as your other self go by.'

Again, Draco waited for more, but there was only silence. With one hand behind his back, Snape was supporting himself on the Pensieve and his eyes roamed the room. Another opportunity.

'Do you speak from experience, sir?'

The pitch black eyes were back on Draco in an instant, sharp and focused. A few seconds passed and Snape raised his chin and moved back behind the desk, sitting down.

'I believe you have enough secrets to protect already, Draco,' he said, his tone cold. 'Take what I am saying to heart, or you will come back in January and your _hero_ might not recognize you.'

Draco narrowed his eyes.

'What am I to do, then? The whole point is for some things to be forgotten, hidden...'

'No,' Snape interrupted him sharply. 'No. What is behind the wall does not lie there because it is discarded. It lies there because it is treasured.'


End file.
